Tag Archive: vintage lingerie


Hello Swimwear and Lingerie Buddies.

Happy Wordless Wednesday!

Kestos Art Deco Lingerie Ad

Kestos Art Deco Lingerie Ad

Cheers,

Maggie

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Happy Tuesday Swimwear and Lingerie buddies.

I’m on the interview circuit right now and can’t give this “granny panties” ad the attention it deserves. Which totally sucks!

That's it... just bah!

That’s it… just bah!

It’s no fun needing to find work.

I’m sure you’ve all had to do the interview process before so hopefully you can empathize with the demands on my time.

That's me, knee deep in it and completely bogged down.

That’s me, knee deep in it and completely bogged down.


So, here’s hoping you can answer the question that Beau-Sure asks; “When it comes to panties, who’s got the excitement?”

Answer= ???

Now, I know you’re all a crafty and snarky-fun crowd, so you get to do the heavy lifting this Tuesday.

Leave me a quick comment and let me know how you would spoof or mock this ad with your favourite rebuttal.

I’d also be happy to hear any other thoughts you have on this lovely example of vintage lingerie advertising.

Cheers,

Maggie

Happy Tuesday Swimwear and Lingerie freaks.

It’s Totally Retro Tuesday, where we look at a vintage lingerie advertisement and try to apply contemporary thinking and political correctness to the marketing materials of yesterday.

{okay, perhaps not politically correct thinking…yah, that was a bit of a stretch wasn’t it?}

Take a look and tell me how you would caption this image….

Seriously, I would love to hear how you would caption this picture.

After all, it’s just begging to be mocked or played with isn’t it? Leave your caption in the comments so we can keep the giggle train chugging.

Aw, c'mon... play with me.. it's fun being silly!

Aw, c’mon… play with me.. it’s fun being silly!

Instead of reading; “Every man wants his woman on a pedestal”, it could now read; “She told him that if he were unwilling to install one of those new fangled air conditioners to help her achieve the blowing in the wind look for her gauzy nightgown then he had better be prepared to blow a lot harder”

snerk.. or how about; “Roger loved the BDSM games they played in private, but felt that her inspiration for their engagement photos shared a little too much about their play roles.”

Last but not least; “Every man wants his woman on a pedestal, because it’s a lot easier to keep her under control when she can’t stray far from an unrealistic position of purity and excellence.”

Cheers,

Maggie

Hi there Swimwear and Lingerie friends!

Everyone enjoying their Tuesday so far?

That's right Tuesday...keep it moving... let's get through this on to the rest of the week.

That’s right Tuesday…keep it moving… let’s get through this on to the rest of the week.

Glad to hear it. It’s Totally Retro Tuesday so let’s take a quick look at this lovely vintage lingerie ad. {It’s interesting how I seem to keep coming back to Playtex ads, isn’t it? There’s jut so much to enjoy :)}

The Playtex 18 Hour Girdle Ad: Making flying to a dream vacation that much more palatable. {the pretentious schmucks!}

It’s all about the full circle comfort and stretch…

Is it wrong that I’m more blown away that air travel has only become more cramped, crappy and constraining? Sheesh, if our lingerie can evolve and become 500X better than this girdle pant, what the heck happened to those in charge of traveller satisfaction?

Oops, sorry, off on a little tangent {more of a rant really…}

Right, so, she’s conscious of wearing shapewear to maintain that perfect figure because anything less would embarrassing and socially unacceptable. But stopping an entire line up of strangers to shriek about forgetting to wear her girdle… that’s okay.

Riiiiiight

Riiiiiight

I particularly like the end, where her fella stops her on the runway to say she looks great and she says; “I feel great!” Awwww, WELL WHO WOULDN’T FEEL GREAT IF THEY WERE NOW IN HAWAII? Sheesh.

Cheers,

Maggie

Lonely Hearts Lingerie

Lonely Hearts Lingerie

Hi Swimwear and Lingerie fans.

Have you ever had a day when you just shouldn’t have got up?

Wish someone could have warned me...

Wish someone could have warned me...

That was me today. I’ve had a self-esteem busting day of the first order and quite frankly, I really don’t want to talk about it or bring you down.

Unfortunately, it’s all I can think about, so I’m performing an intervention.

Now with less interesting story-lines and more moping.

Now with less interesting story-lines and more moping.

It’s Totally Retro Tuesday and I have a really nice vintage lingerie ad for your pleasure and delight. I’m just not going to talk about it because it would be morose and pathetic and the ad doesn’t deserve that.

I know what you’re thinking, “She must be really downtrodden if even lingerie isn’t perking up her spirits.

That's me, may as well order the Tshirt too.

That's me, may as well order the Tshirt too.

Normally, it would do the trick, but when I came home from my absolutely, no-good, rotten day, I found a postal slip telling me that one of my lingerie deliveries had been brought back to the post office because I wasn’t here to claim it.

One more time for good measure.

One more time for good measure.

The Post Office closed 15 minutes before I got home and will do so again all week. Yay for Saturday!

sigh…

Yup, even my lingerie is kicking me in the face today.fml.

not-so-cheery,

Maggie

Let's hear it for National Lingerie Day!

Let's hear it for National Lingerie Day!

Happy Tuesday Swimwear and Lingerie friends!

Not only is today Totally Retro Tuesday, it also happens to be National Lingerie Day!

Yippee! I've been waiting for this day for sooo long!!!

Yippee! I've been waiting for this day for sooo long!!!

Wheeee! The day when all the good little lingeristas and lingerists gather together under the Stocking dryer rack…
Isn't it so pretty and festive? Look at all the lovely draping hosiery, so cheerful... I can almost smell the gentle laundry detergent scent!

Isn't it so pretty and festive? Look at all the lovely draping hosiery, so cheerful... I can almost smell the gentle laundry detergent scent!

…and gaze with wondrement and joy at all of the wonderful National Lingerie Day Goodies…
Awww, look at their unbridled joy! So cute, wonder if dad got the crotchless panties he was gunning for?

Awww, look at their unbridled joy! So cute, wonder if dad got the crotchless panties he was gunning for?

…that the Uber Scary Lingerie Fairy has tirelessly delivered for them….
*shudder* Not sure she should be delivering anything to sweet little children, but a tradition is a tradition. Heck, we let pervy old guys sneak into sleeping children's rooms one night a year!

*shudder* Not sure she should be delivering anything to sweet little children, but a tradition is a tradition. Heck, we let pervy old guys sneak into sleeping children's rooms one night a year!

Now that’s a holiday I could get behind.
Yah it does!

Yah it does!

Oh, and it’s also National Physics Day!
See? Even the Physics guys perfer National Lingerie Day!!!

See? Even the Physics guys perfer National Lingerie Day!!!

Which I think is a pretty appropriate choice for a Co-holiday!
National Physics Day! Just as exciting as National Lingerie Day... Bazinga!

National Physics Day! Just as exciting as National Lingerie Day... Bazinga!

…Shall we move on to our lovely Totally Retro Tuesday Vintage Lingerie Ad?
Hold on... let's do our Vintage Lingerie ad first, then get $^!( faced :)

Hold on... let's do our Vintage Lingerie ad first, then get $^!( faced 🙂

Okay, so you may notice it’s in French, don’t worry about it… we’re going for visual appeal here! Pretty awesome right? I love the colours, the stylized drawing, the… well I just kinda like everything about it! It’s pure glamour and decadence. Now… about those waffles… Cheers, Maggie
Truth!

Truth!

Bet you're wondering how this relates to a vintage panty ad right?

Bet you're wondering how this relates to a vintage panty ad right?

Hiya Swimwear and Lingerie buddies.

It’s Totally Retro Tuesday and I couldn’t be more excited.

Why you may ask?

Because it’s quite possibly the best vintage lingerie ad EVAH!

{and that’s saying something when we’ve been faced with random fruit and half ladies, Little Shop of Horrors headdresses and Bardot in a Bra}

Take a look and tell me the most giggle worthy part for you.

Pretty awesome right? Those Mad Men of the lingerie marketing world, just never disappoint.

Sigh.... Don Draper, that unrepentant, womanizing jerk...

Sigh.... Don Draper, that unrepentant, womanizing jerk...

{Well, except for their blatant misogony, racism, classism… you get the idea}

My favourite part of the whole picture is the fact that we are faced with two women; one yanking on her super hungry-bum, wedgie-fied butt, and the other standing around in the street completely starkers, except for her shapewear.

Obviously he would do the most masculinely appropriate thing for his era... Give the nekkid Lady his jacket to protect her modesty and make his later seduction attempt appropriate, while saying something sneeringly harsh about the Lady with the vpl.

Obviously he would do the most masculinely appropriate thing for his era... Give the nekkid Lady his jacket to protect her modesty and make his later seduction attempt appropriate, while saying something sneeringly harsh about the Lady with the vpl.

Moving along….

The caption reads, “Obviously the Lady doesn’t know”, followed by the fabulously truthful, “Perma-lift’s Magic Oval Pantie, doesn’t ride up EVER”.

I wish they wouldn't say EVER! It just gets my false-promises panties all up in a hitch!

I wish they wouldn't say EVER! It just gets my false-promises panties all up in a hitch!

Are they talking about the Lady picking her butt or the almost-modest Lady Godiva?

{You can pick your friends and you can pick your wedgie, but you can’t pick your friend’s wedgie… or something like that}

Public Service Announcement * Please note, a well fit support bra should always be worn during super bouncy activities*

Public Service Announcement * Please note, a well fit support bra should always be worn during super bouncy activities*

Perhaps they’re talking about the fact that the mostly-unclothed Lady hasn’t matched her shoes and long evening gloves to her super-white shapewear?

Sheeeesh, even this kid knows you gotta match your undies to your evening gloves!

Sheeeesh, even this kid knows you gotta match your undies to your evening gloves!

Well, I’ve already covered unreasonable marketing claims before so naturally I’m NOT a fan of the brand’s name; “Perma-Lift”.

Okay, fine... nothing is impossible...if you have photoshop, but outside of that, there's no way these panties can lift anything permanently!

Okay, fine... nothing is impossible...if you have photoshop, but outside of that, there's no way these panties can lift anything permanently!

I don’t think they actually effect body structure for permanent results…kinda shady advertising strategy don’tcha think?

If Cheez Whiz can’t do it, then no one can!

True dat

True dat

Oooh, maybe the ad is a real intellectual, academia kind of promotion and what we’re seeing is some “magic realism” in that she is both the woman adjusting her girly bits in public AND the woman dressed up as a high class escort, admiring her new, never budge undies…

{Ha! And they said that English degree would never pay off!!! they were right…sigh}

Ya, gotta admit... it's pretty darn cool stuff!

Ya, gotta admit... it's pretty darn cool stuff!

Or maybe it was just another excuse to show a Lady in her umentionables and shame women into thinking that wearing body armour everyday was necessary because their shapes are just so cringeworthy no matter what they do!

...sigh

...sigh

Cheers,

Maggie

Just one for the road...

Just one for the road...

Hello Swimwear and Lingerie fans!

It’s Totally Retro Tuesday and we have a lovely Vintage Lingerie Ad for your perusal.

Happy Wednesday Swimwear and Lingerie folk!

How’s everyone’s week going so far? We’re at the official halfway point to the weekend and I’m already thinking about all of the projects I have lined up. But, I’m also kind of dreading the weekend too.

Do you guys do this? Stockpile a ton of ideas and fun projects and then try so hard to ram them all into a tiny time frame, that they just aren’t fun anymore?

I need to learn better time management skills so I don't end up as freakin looney as this lovely lady!

I need to learn better time management skills so I don't end up as freakin looney as this lovely lady!

Luckily for all of us, the majority of my weekend plans involve lingerie and swimwear to some extent, so this silly tangent is still mostly on topic! Yay for me!

Today’s fabulous Pin Up Wednesday post features a lovely young lady trying to maintain her dignity as she sits in an art deco style chair. I have encountered the exact same issue in these chairs, so I can attest to her discomfort and frustration.

{HEY! It’s not easy folks, you’re never sure where your legs are supposed to go and when you’re only 5 ft 4″ your legs don’t really touch the ground in any style of chair… it’s not easy being this awesome. Although, I highly doubt she’ll be reduced to rolling out of the chair into a kluztzy pile on the floor. She looks a little too dignified for that}

Things I love about this Pin Up:
1. She kind of looks like me 🙂
2. She has light brown hair {almost unheard of… they’re usually red, black, blonde or dark chestnut, us light to medium browns are apparently too boring to get much illustrative action}
3. Those heels are killer
4. I seriously have been in that exact predicament before.
5. Her facial expression is too cute!
6. I LOVE that dress, but am not sure how the boobs remain aloft unless they are silicon valley-ish.
7. The colours aren’t super saturated. I love this palette. So pretty and it lets the impact be all about her.
8. It’s a pin up… does there really need to be anymore reasons?
9. Her garters appear to have a ribbon detail that is rather unusual
10. Because her hairdo is the same as I had in high school and because no one ever ends a list on 9.

Cheers,

Maggie

Valentino Vintage Lingerie Ad

Hello Swimwear and Lingerie Freaks and a very Happy Totally Retro Tuesday to each and every one of you.

My name is Maggie and it has now been 28 hours since my last piece of Halloween candy.

I’m feeling strong and in control…. except that I desperately want to go and save all the poor Halloween candy that wasn’t bought and will never achieve its dream of being eaten.

WANT Halloween candy. please don't judge me....

WANT Halloween candy. please don't judge me....

What? It’s altruistic!

Like in the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree special… where the trees are sad if they don’t get to fulfill their holiday destiny…Pretty sure that little bit of infallible logic entitles me to all the clearance candy I can find. Wouldn’t you agree?

Charlie Brown saved a Christmas Tree= Maggie has to save the discount Halloween candy!

Charlie Brown saved a Christmas Tree= Maggie has to save the discount Halloween candy!

What? Oh, oh right, lingerie…sorry.

Today’s Vintage Lingerie Ad hails from Valentino and is a wonderful example of showing how stripped of power {and most of her clothing} the woman is nothing more than a pawn in the great patriarchical game of society. Let’s all admire the big, giant head that is watching over our somewhat floaty and super-imposed shapewear clad beauty shall we?

Vintage Valentino Lingerie Ad

Vintage Valentino Lingerie Ad

First of all, let’s just all agree that Valentino really does do some gorgeous lingerie. Not this particularly industrial, granny-ish looking stuff, but there have been some very notable and swoon worthy pieces.

Valentino Lingerie 1993

Valentino Lingerie 1993

…and with the compulsory adoration out of the way, we can talk about how his marketing team suck the big loogie. Seriously, folks. How bad is this ad? Just what are they conveying here?

{giggle… you just can’t go wrong with Shatner as a Supreme Leader of an alien race. AKA The Big Giant Head. Genius casting!}

“Come and be a figment of Valentino’s imagination. You will float like an ungraceful specter in front of the unblinking eyes of the designer, like some lifeless marionette that lives only to be a muse and a plaything. Your value is only what he drapes on you.

He isn’t even looking at you with his massive eyes. He is just looking at the customers who will know doubt be adoring him and not his designs. After all he is the superhero of this little story!”

The Great and Powerful Oz!! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain...

The Great and Powerful Oz!! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain...

Compelling right? Who wouldn’t want to be a stand in for Valentino’s nose? Or so devalued that the best way to sell his lingerie, is being superimposed over an image of his gy-normous head. After all, he is the most important thing about Valentino lingerie. Not the actual lingerie or the woman wearing it, she’s basically an after-thought in the whole campaign.

Let’s not even talk about the fact that he has his nose up her butt… that’s just really odd placement isn’t it?

Paging Naomi Wolf... Naomi Wolf please come to the desk to claim women's worth

Paging Naomi Wolf... Naomi Wolf please come to the desk to claim women's worth

Why is she looking down? Is it a nod to modesty and humility or is she just afraid that her Cirque Du Soleil-esque pose is going to break the invisible cables holding her up? By having her look down, she draws the viewers eyes down to the lingerie, thus intimating that this is the interesting part of her. Kinda harsh if we look at it that way.

Cirque de Soleil Arial Performers have better costumes!

Cirque de Soleil Arial Performers have better costumes!

Hmmm… What do you make of it all? You may have noticed that I haven’t even touched upon the text in the ad. I figured there was more than enough to play around with, without adding in the “panels that will be molding her”. Ick. scratch that. Double ick!

Cheers,

Maggie