Tag Archive: Vintage Lingerie Ad


Hiya Swimwear and Lingerie friends.

Well, it’s awesome over here, I caught a cold at the end of the long weekend and spent my holiday Monday cleaning the house, napping and looking like a glazed donut.

I feel like a big bag of poo.

I feel like a big bag of poo.

Good times!

I’m still stuffier than a hipster pottery barn pillow, so let’s have some fun looking at a vintage lingerie ad from our good buddies over at Maidenform.

MAidenform

It’s an activity that’s sure to brighten my mood.

Am I the only one that thinks that Maidenform’s idea of being a queen is rather similar to a creepy carnival? Hmmm, maybe more vaudevillian- the girl on the velvet swing-type of a thing.

The dog looks mortified to be stuck next to her and her giant meringue of a dress.

Ahh well, there’s no accounting for taste now is there… maybe she meant Queen of the Prom…

Cheers,

Maggie

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Happy Tuesday Swimwear and Lingerie freaks.

It’s Totally Retro Tuesday, where we look at a vintage lingerie advertisement and try to apply contemporary thinking and political correctness to the marketing materials of yesterday.

{okay, perhaps not politically correct thinking…yah, that was a bit of a stretch wasn’t it?}

Take a look and tell me how you would caption this image….

Seriously, I would love to hear how you would caption this picture.

After all, it’s just begging to be mocked or played with isn’t it? Leave your caption in the comments so we can keep the giggle train chugging.

Aw, c'mon... play with me.. it's fun being silly!

Aw, c’mon… play with me.. it’s fun being silly!

Instead of reading; “Every man wants his woman on a pedestal”, it could now read; “She told him that if he were unwilling to install one of those new fangled air conditioners to help her achieve the blowing in the wind look for her gauzy nightgown then he had better be prepared to blow a lot harder”

snerk.. or how about; “Roger loved the BDSM games they played in private, but felt that her inspiration for their engagement photos shared a little too much about their play roles.”

Last but not least; “Every man wants his woman on a pedestal, because it’s a lot easier to keep her under control when she can’t stray far from an unrealistic position of purity and excellence.”

Cheers,

Maggie

Hi there Swimwear and Lingerie friends!

Everyone enjoying their Tuesday so far?

That's right Tuesday...keep it moving... let's get through this on to the rest of the week.

That’s right Tuesday…keep it moving… let’s get through this on to the rest of the week.

Glad to hear it. It’s Totally Retro Tuesday so let’s take a quick look at this lovely vintage lingerie ad. {It’s interesting how I seem to keep coming back to Playtex ads, isn’t it? There’s jut so much to enjoy :)}

The Playtex 18 Hour Girdle Ad: Making flying to a dream vacation that much more palatable. {the pretentious schmucks!}

It’s all about the full circle comfort and stretch…

Is it wrong that I’m more blown away that air travel has only become more cramped, crappy and constraining? Sheesh, if our lingerie can evolve and become 500X better than this girdle pant, what the heck happened to those in charge of traveller satisfaction?

Oops, sorry, off on a little tangent {more of a rant really…}

Right, so, she’s conscious of wearing shapewear to maintain that perfect figure because anything less would embarrassing and socially unacceptable. But stopping an entire line up of strangers to shriek about forgetting to wear her girdle… that’s okay.

Riiiiiight

Riiiiiight

I particularly like the end, where her fella stops her on the runway to say she looks great and she says; “I feel great!” Awwww, WELL WHO WOULDN’T FEEL GREAT IF THEY WERE NOW IN HAWAII? Sheesh.

Cheers,

Maggie

Lonely Hearts Lingerie

Lonely Hearts Lingerie

Hi Swimwear and Lingerie fans.

Have you ever had a day when you just shouldn’t have got up?

Wish someone could have warned me...

Wish someone could have warned me...

That was me today. I’ve had a self-esteem busting day of the first order and quite frankly, I really don’t want to talk about it or bring you down.

Unfortunately, it’s all I can think about, so I’m performing an intervention.

Now with less interesting story-lines and more moping.

Now with less interesting story-lines and more moping.

It’s Totally Retro Tuesday and I have a really nice vintage lingerie ad for your pleasure and delight. I’m just not going to talk about it because it would be morose and pathetic and the ad doesn’t deserve that.

I know what you’re thinking, “She must be really downtrodden if even lingerie isn’t perking up her spirits.

That's me, may as well order the Tshirt too.

That's me, may as well order the Tshirt too.

Normally, it would do the trick, but when I came home from my absolutely, no-good, rotten day, I found a postal slip telling me that one of my lingerie deliveries had been brought back to the post office because I wasn’t here to claim it.

One more time for good measure.

One more time for good measure.

The Post Office closed 15 minutes before I got home and will do so again all week. Yay for Saturday!

sigh…

Yup, even my lingerie is kicking me in the face today.fml.

not-so-cheery,

Maggie

Berni Dexter in Lucy B'a Cherries Jubilee Girdle Set

Berni Dexter in Lucy B'a Cherries Jubilee Girdle Set

Hello my darling Swimwear and Lingerie buddies.

Happy Totally Retro Tuesday to each and every one of you! Are we all observing this wonderful day by wearing our oldest piece of lingerie? Don’t worry, it’s okay to fudge the rules and just wear your most “retro” styled lingerie.

Berni Dexter in Lucy B's Paperdoll Cami Set

Berni Dexter in Lucy B's Paperdoll Cami Set

Myself, I’m kicking it old school style and wearing my favourite retro high waisted undies. I always get a kick out of these and the way they frame up my waist so nicely! They kind of look like this, but not really…

Okay, this is a swimsuit by For Luna, but you get the idea.

Okay, this is a swimsuit by For Luna, but you get the idea.

I know, I know, I really need to get my act together, but these were bought a long, long time ago at a craft fair and didn’t come with a tag, so there’s no way to identify them. Which is a crying shame, because they’re really awesome.

But let’s get a move on with our super awesome vintage lingerie ad for today!

I’m not even going to say anything ahead of the viewing. Just take a look… let it wash over you and see where your mind goes…

Okay, this is obviously the first pop culture reference I got:

Kayser Soze!!!!!!

You know, ’cause the Nylon company is Kayser Bondor… Kayser…Kayser… yah. {moving along}

Anyhoo, we have the lovely lady wearing such a fancy head wrap and all done up to the nines.

{quick aside… did ya ever wonder where the heck that phrase came from? Me too, and there are a whole lot of potential answers and no real consensus. Nevertheless, if you’re a total word nerd like me, you can look here and over here too. Only very remotely related to lingerie, but still kinda related… my tangents aren’t quite so bizarre after all!}

And who wouldn't want a closer look at such lovely silky stockings... Do people really do that? I mean, I obviously have a professional interest in nylons and stuff, but I don't kneel down and inspect them while my buddy is wearing them.... just saying. Oh and FYI, TOTES kidding here, she is obviously one of the earliest adopters of eco-friendly clothing and is drawing the stockings seam line rather than increase their carbon foot print!

And who wouldn't want a closer look at such lovely silky stockings... Do people really do that? I mean, I obviously have a professional interest in nylons and stuff, but I don't kneel down and inspect them while my buddy is wearing them.... just saying. Oh and fyi, TOTES kidding here, she is obviously one of the earliest adopters of eco-friendly clothing and is drawing the stockings seam line rather than increase their carbon foot print!

Okay, got it out of my system. Now let’s get to the fun stuff. So, our lovely lingerie lady, is swanning around in her Kayser Bondor housecoat and making sure to hold the lower half of her garment wide open to fully reveal her “Exquisite stockings in pure silk and nylon.”

And really, who doesn’t waltz about showing off our nether-belows when every other square inch of flesh is completely covered up? This is kinda weird isn’t it? But I am digging the twilight to highlight thing the background is doing.

Her expression is perfectly frosty and aloof, making the viewer feel that shameful voyeuristic sensation that really sells the frilly stuff and makes us all want to seem that powerful when we’re not fully dressed.

I think my favourite part is the fairy dust sprinkling cherubs floating above her snobbishly snotty head!

They're almost as creepy as the Lingerie Fairy! Although, happily, they're showing waaaay less skin!

They're almost as creepy as the Lingerie Fairy! Although, happily, they're showing waaaay less skin!

Do they seem kinda outta place or what?

Seriously? Did the Marketing Exec have to throw them in because Kayser Bondar decided to bring his chippy new trophy wife, who was so young, she was still in her rainbows, unicorns and pink princesses phase, and her big contribution to the meeting was “I think it should have cute little angel babies and lots of pixie dust!” ????

{shudder}

Even this kitty knows that those cupids are totally tacked on and have nothing to do with anything in this ad.

Even this kitty knows that those cupids are totally tacked on and have nothing to do with anything in this ad.

Full disclosure time.

I’m in marketing and I’ve lived this kind of fresh hell before… there’s nothing good that can come of any of it.

I can’t even bring myself to taunt the marketing group that had to put the cherubs in. They’re just so out of left field, she may as well have been holding a corndog, because the CEO’s niece who was job shadowing that day said “Corndogs! They’re just the coolest thing ever!”

…sigh.

Cheers,

Maggie

It’s Totally Retro Tuesday Swimwear and Lingerie friends! Are you ready for all the retro lingerie advertising craziness that’s coming your way?

I quiver with anticipation...name that movie quote

I quiver with anticipation...name that movie quote

I hope so, because this Vintage lingerie commercial is just chock full of amazing acting and marketing messages, that in no way demean women and reduce them to the role of complete idiots.

Grab the popcorn and let’s all swoon into our seats as Playtex sells us their 1980’s, top of the line, uber-innovtive bras!

Cross Your Heart and keep your eyes as wide and open as the presenter's so you don't miss a single moment!

Cross Your Heart and keep your eyes as wide and open as the presenter's so you don't miss a single moment!

Cross Your Heart Bras by Playtex:

Okay, now pick your jaw up off the ground. I know, I know those were some freakishly amazing special effects right? These must be some seriously high tech bras, if they can pour that kind of money into their marketing! Just imagine the high powered engineering that must have gone into the bras then! Space Shuttle-esque textiles and nano-tech, quadro-engineered architectured thinga-ma-dooeys!

Wow, she had all that power packed into her finger! She does aerobics too, man she is sooo hip and stylish and cool! Let’s get physical! Can you imagine if we could all selectively disrobe small sections of our anatomy down to a single layer… what talent, what genius, what…? Huh?

wait whaaat?

wait whaaat?

What do you mean that’s all they came up with? The flippin’ “x” banding at the center gore? SERIOUSLY??? That’s it? But, but… it had to be big and amazing…THEY USED A BRITISH SPOKESPERSON AFTER ALL! They know we can never doubt a really cool accent. pouts.

My favourite flavour of bra, cross my heart!

My favourite flavour of bra, cross my heart!

{fyi. It’s true you know! No self-respecting North American will EVER doubt anything said by someone with a British accent. I don’t know if it’s because we all grew up thinking James Bond was the coolest, most knowledgeable person evah, or if we’re programmed that way due to our shared histories as previous colonies??? It would make for an interesting grad school study though wouldn’t it?}

Who wouldn't trust him? Bet he wouldn't act like criss crossing bands on a bra was similar to cold fusion... sheesh.

Who wouldn't trust him? Bet he wouldn't act like criss crossing bands on a bra was similar to cold fusion... sheesh.

Damn it! I totally fell for it again! You may recall, I was duped by a cool accent in a Vintage lingerie commercial before… I don’t think the sting of betrayal has dissipated yet. But really, how could I not trust what they were telling me. Their presenter had her eyes open wider than bambi’s.. I’m conditioned to trust people who don’t blink a lot… it’s human nature.

Who can resist this look?

Who can resist this look?

Well, actually the unblinking presenter lady is pretty creepy looking. Blinking once or twice might actually save her from the uncanny resemblance she shares with a crack whore jacked up on redbulls and pixie stix!

Charlie Sheenish

Charlie Sheenish

The commercial mentions that the bra can accomplish more than 30 days of working out… hmmm, not really sure what they’re basing that on… I’m pretty sure that 30 days of working out ala the blue and white striped, magic finger gal there would probably do more for my figure than a simple conically shaped bra with a railroad crossing sign in between my boobs.

Just saying!

When will advertisers ever realize that consumers are smarter than that? We don’t buy into all of their idiocy and propaganda, we only buy the products because they are all that is stocked in our local stores, not because we believe the hype. Well most of us don’t. I know I don’t and I know YOU my lovely, smart, discerning readers don’t either. We all know what the products do and what we can expect from them, stop assuming we’re dense!

Just tell it like it is already!

Just tell it like it is already!

The lovely Beckie over at Busts4Justice has been taking on the misinformation surrounding bras and bra fittings lately and has accomplished some really spectacular coups! I highly suggest you check her out and support her campaign. She’s fighting the good fight my friends.

We buy the products because we’ve become so accustomed to being over promised and under-delivered to by large corporations. Makes me feel all Public Enemy-ish.

Cheers,

Maggie

Vintage Emo Lingerie Ad. No Really!

Happy Tuesday Swimwear and Lingerie Fans.

Are we all ready for Totally Retro Tuesday? I think it’s a good one this week, mostly because with my current head cold, I keep making the actual “snerk” sound every time I see the ad!

Take a look yourself and tell me if you don’t do it too!

Emo Vintage Lingerie Ad

Right, so obviously I love this ad because of the EMO reference.

OMG! Who knew that Emo was around waaay back then? Who knew there was even a “Vintage Emo”? How exciting an Anthropological finding is this? I know right! I could totally win a Nobel Prize for this discovery! Can’t you just see me up there accepting this massive prize for the newest and best discoveries in lingerie this year?

Nobel Prize in Lingerie

Nobel Prize in Lingerie

Yah, that might be taking it a wee bit far.

So, emo and lingerie!

Whaaaat? What’dya mean you have no idea what emo is? Good gravy people, you need to unplug now and then, look around, interact, get with the program and all that crap! Sheesh.

Anyhoo, here’s a quick primer on all things emo for you –> Click here. {Please note that before anyone gets their panties in a bunch over my exploration of the emo-ness of this lingerie ad, I am most definitely not anti-emo. I’m rather smitten with the punk/goth/emo branch of music and think the style is quite cute! Androgeny is one of my favourite looks! So please don’t assume that I’m being derisive, as I’m most certainly not.}

Up to speed now? Good, let’s take a look at how emo this vintage lingerie ad really is!

Well, we can’t see her/his face, so we don’t know if this is an emo gal or guy, but the dramatic head tilt and raised arms are very symbolic of complete submission to an emotional outsurge.

The clothes don’t really fit today’s definition of emo though. I suppose things were a little bit different back then. Clothing and things were more tightly controlled by societal expectations and norms. Which would make the toplessness a true act of rebellion, as is the wearing of the dark pantyhose, while frolicking about with the regular light or “nude” coloured shades.

{Don’t even get me started on the whole “nude” coloured thing. Grrrr}

I'm not really sure why this is labelled as an emo cartoon... I get the whole dark and dry sense of humour, but that isn't only reserved for the emo genre of folks!

I'm not really sure why this is labelled as an emo cartoon... I get the whole dark and dry sense of humour, but that isn't only reserved for the emo genre of folks!

So, I guess, there are some emo elements at play here. Which is kind of interesting isn’t it? Subversion is in the eye of the beholder and I’m sure we could find plenty of signifiers if we really wanted to… but really, this is just a vintage lingerie ad for stockings from a bygone era and we’re applying our contemporary labels and ideas to it…

{but ya gotta admit… it’s kinda fun isn’t it?}

Cheers,

Maggie

Howdy Swimwear and Lingerie fanatics.

Happy Totally Retro Tuesday!

Van Raalte Lingerie Stockings Ad

Van Raalte Lingerie Stockings Ad

I love the colours in this advertisement, don’t you? From the model’s dress to the customers eyes and lips. It has that fabulous intensity and saturated pigments that make the visuals pop off the page.

The customer is holding up a stocking showing it’s transparency and strength while we look at it as worn on an actual model. What I love the most is that we get to see the product both on and off the model, it adds a sense of honesty that seems to be lacking in most vintage lingerie ads… oh who am I kidding, the honesty is lacking from most lingerie ads today as well!

If I were to caption this ad, I think that the model would be calling down to the customer and saying; “Frances…what are you doing? Put that back on! You can’t compare your stockings to mine right now… sheesh!” She would then snicker to the other stocking models, “That Frances, you can dress her up, but you can’t take her out! Once a peeler, always a peeler!”

How would you caption it?

Cheers,

Maggie

{psst…Hi Swimwear and Lingerie folk… I’m not really here talking to you because it’s Wordless Wednesday and I’m not supposed to talk. So this is me not talking… kinda… HEY! I’M TRYING ALRIGHT?… Anyhoo, please enjoy this stunning vintage lingerie ad without any of my overly-negative, uber-feminist critique crap today… just enjoy the visual while I try very hard not to chime in… anymore than I’m already doing…}

Vintage Lingerie Ad- madame-adrienne-

Vintage Lingerie Ad- madame-adrienne-

Cheers,

Maggie

Hi Swimwear and Lingerie Friends!

{Waves… I’m not supposed to talk, so I won’t…much. Enjoy this exquisite vintage lingerie ad from Lady Marlene… I wouldn’t call this a Babydoll would you? I’m not really sure what a panty-bra-s’lette is either…sounds very Seussian. I would love to pick all these little mysteries apart, but it’s Wordless Wednesday and I’m NOT ALLOWED…stupid rule}

Vintage Ad Lady Marlene

Vintage Ad Lady Marlene

Cheers,

Maggie