Hello Swimwear and Lingerie buddies.

Yesterday I was chit-chatting about what a total maroon I am and how I threw all my knowledge and hard won research and experience-based training out the window in my quest to wear a long line bra.

Me + Maroon= Accepted, owned and awesome!

Me + Maroon= Accepted, owned and awesome!

{ack, the lure of low price lingerie… I thought I was immune, but was easily tricked by the “same size= NOT same size UK edition, even though Freya/Panache/Fantasie etc are all UK brands and I fit their G cups beautifully…}

It didn’t work out so well for me.

Still scratching my head and trying to figure out how that all happened... I KNOW BETTER, DARN IT!

Still scratching my head and trying to figure out how that all happened… I KNOW BETTER, DARN IT!

{Anyone wanna buy a rather sweaty long line bra in a 38I US size which equals a UK 38G? Only worn once! No? Only slightly pulled out of shape by frantic anti-poking manouevers!}

But today is another day and I thought it would be fun to look at a vintage lingerie ad from Gossard from back in the day!

What do you think?

She’s young… she’s lovely…

{… it sounds like the build up to a horror movie doesn’t it?}

So very, very scared of the build up they're giving the girl in the Gossard lingerie... what's she gonna do now?

So very, very scared of the build up they’re giving the girl in the Gossard lingerie… what’s she gonna do now?

She’ll rip your face off in her blood and gore-filled quest for TOTAL PLANET DOMINATION!!!! Mwaaa haa haaa {cue evil Vincent Price laugh}

He was so awesome!!!! Could always find a way to make everyting super-creepy ;) Even lingerie!

He was so awesome!!!! Could always find a way to make everyting super-creepy 😉 Even lingerie!

I just can’t get over how blatant the copy is at telling their beautiful, young and healthy target market that their youthful perfection, ISN’T PERFECT ENOUGH!

Cue the creepy-ass Stepford Wives! June Cleaver would have shived them all, she was a rebel in a crinoline, working from the inside!

Cue the creepy-ass Stepford Wives! June Cleaver would have shived them all, she was a rebel in a crinoline, working from the inside!

But wait… she’s also “wise”!

Wise to the way in which her culture demands that she conform to completely unattainable and over the top standards of beauty, behaviour and thought. And at such a young age… awww, how lovely!

Clearly, she must learn at an early age to play the game or else she won't survive... survive adolescence to move on to the snakepit of adult human interactions!

Clearly, she must learn at an early age to play the game or else she won’t survive… survive adolescence to move on to the snakepit of adult human interactions!

I think my favourite part of the ad is where they state that; ”
She knows that her youthful and near perfect figure needs Gossard’s uplift and pantie girdle to achieve that super smooth look…

That’s right folks. No matter what we may think and the illustration would appear to show a young lady with a very enviable figure… it is only NEAR perfect. Luckily, the pantie girdle and uplift bring it that extra 10 %. phew.

Isn't she lucky? She has a choice! Conform or conform... but then again, she could just conform and get it over with!

Isn’t she lucky? She has a choice! Conform or conform… but then again, she could just conform and get it over with!

Actually, I take it back… that isn’t my favourite part. It’s really where they say; ” that good figure grooming now will help retain her youthful beauty in years to come.”

That’s right! The youthful beauty that isn’t good enough right now, will be groomed to last for years to come!!!

She gets the gift of eternal inadequacy… what more could women lingerie consumers ask for?

Cheers,

Maggie

It's what all the cool kids are doing. Definitely easier than trying to maintain any individuality or self esteem.

It’s what all the cool kids are doing. Definitely easier than trying to maintain any individuality or self esteem.

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