Bet you're wondering how this relates to a vintage panty ad right?

Bet you're wondering how this relates to a vintage panty ad right?

Hiya Swimwear and Lingerie buddies.

It’s Totally Retro Tuesday and I couldn’t be more excited.

Why you may ask?

Because it’s quite possibly the best vintage lingerie ad EVAH!

{and that’s saying something when we’ve been faced with random fruit and half ladies, Little Shop of Horrors headdresses and Bardot in a Bra}

Take a look and tell me the most giggle worthy part for you.

Pretty awesome right? Those Mad Men of the lingerie marketing world, just never disappoint.

Sigh.... Don Draper, that unrepentant, womanizing jerk...

Sigh.... Don Draper, that unrepentant, womanizing jerk...

{Well, except for their blatant misogony, racism, classism… you get the idea}

My favourite part of the whole picture is the fact that we are faced with two women; one yanking on her super hungry-bum, wedgie-fied butt, and the other standing around in the street completely starkers, except for her shapewear.

Obviously he would do the most masculinely appropriate thing for his era... Give the nekkid Lady his jacket to protect her modesty and make his later seduction attempt appropriate, while saying something sneeringly harsh about the Lady with the vpl.

Obviously he would do the most masculinely appropriate thing for his era... Give the nekkid Lady his jacket to protect her modesty and make his later seduction attempt appropriate, while saying something sneeringly harsh about the Lady with the vpl.

Moving along….

The caption reads, “Obviously the Lady doesn’t know”, followed by the fabulously truthful, “Perma-lift’s Magic Oval Pantie, doesn’t ride up EVER”.

I wish they wouldn't say EVER! It just gets my false-promises panties all up in a hitch!

I wish they wouldn't say EVER! It just gets my false-promises panties all up in a hitch!

Are they talking about the Lady picking her butt or the almost-modest Lady Godiva?

{You can pick your friends and you can pick your wedgie, but you can’t pick your friend’s wedgie… or something like that}

Public Service Announcement * Please note, a well fit support bra should always be worn during super bouncy activities*

Public Service Announcement * Please note, a well fit support bra should always be worn during super bouncy activities*

Perhaps they’re talking about the fact that the mostly-unclothed Lady hasn’t matched her shoes and long evening gloves to her super-white shapewear?

Sheeeesh, even this kid knows you gotta match your undies to your evening gloves!

Sheeeesh, even this kid knows you gotta match your undies to your evening gloves!

Well, I’ve already covered unreasonable marketing claims before so naturally I’m NOT a fan of the brand’s name; “Perma-Lift”.

Okay, fine... nothing is impossible...if you have photoshop, but outside of that, there's no way these panties can lift anything permanently!

Okay, fine... nothing is impossible...if you have photoshop, but outside of that, there's no way these panties can lift anything permanently!

I don’t think they actually effect body structure for permanent results…kinda shady advertising strategy don’tcha think?

If Cheez Whiz can’t do it, then no one can!

True dat

True dat

Oooh, maybe the ad is a real intellectual, academia kind of promotion and what we’re seeing is some “magic realism” in that she is both the woman adjusting her girly bits in public AND the woman dressed up as a high class escort, admiring her new, never budge undies…

{Ha! And they said that English degree would never pay off!!! they were right…sigh}

Ya, gotta admit... it's pretty darn cool stuff!

Ya, gotta admit... it's pretty darn cool stuff!

Or maybe it was just another excuse to show a Lady in her umentionables and shame women into thinking that wearing body armour everyday was necessary because their shapes are just so cringeworthy no matter what they do!

...sigh

...sigh

Cheers,

Maggie

Just one for the road...

Just one for the road...

About these ads