Goth Fox Couture Trek Insignia Pasties

Goth Fox Couture Trek Insignia Pasties

Hello Swimwear and Lingerie friends.

Today’s post was inspired by last Monday’s post, Hallowe’en Accessories from Ophelia Fancy! I was thinking about some really great Fitting Tip Thursday post topics that you all wold find endlessly informative and interesting and I kept coming back to one that was less a ‘fitting tip’ than it was a useful preventative public service announcement.

Holloway-Smith Noir Bespoke Tassels for a Tie

Holloway-Smith Noir Bespoke Tassels for a Tie

You see I was serious about the nipple pasties. They really are the one element that makes a lingerie ensemble and quite frankly they make me giggle and giddy like nothing else. Even champagne!

{fyi I’m the worlds cheapest date EVAH! I have zero tolerance for alcohol and turn into a giggling goof ball! Sad but true, I am far more sexy and demure sober because when I’m drunk, jokes like pull my finger are frighteningly funny for some reason…}

Dita Von Teese

Dita Von Teese

Anyhoo, all that pastie wearing brought about a little issue that the burlesque ladies among us will be nodding their heads in empathy with. I had adhesive hell to pay when I actually fell asleep wearing my pasties by accident.

Tempest Storm

Tempest Storm

Generally, you don’t want to leave them on for too long as they remove much more easily if you don’t sleep on them, thus bonding them eternally to the incredibly tender and sensitive nippular regions of your body.

{Yes, I really am that big of an idiot! Please keep the pointing, staring and snickering to a minimum… we idiots are a bit sensitive}

Vintage Burlesque

So when I went to remove them the next morning… well needless to say, they didn’t wanna budge. Nope, not even a little and I was faced with a bit of dilemma. Is it ever a good idea to try and just RIP em off, like bandaid?

Ya no. Not going to happen, and just so we’re clear… I don’t have a hairy chest a la Steve Carell, I just didn’t feel like explaining to the ER docs why I needed my nipple sewn back on to my boob… I try to live my life in a way that will avoid my becoming a spectacle on the front page of the newspaper.

Vintage Burlesque Performer

Vintage Burlesque Performer

So, with that idea out… what should you do, if you happen to pass out before removing your pasties? I hear some of you mumbling something about soap and water. That could work, except the adhesive is designed to work even in the presence of sweat, so soap and water may not be enough.

What’s that you say? Sprinkle some talc or baby powder? Didn’t you ever watch Friends? C’mon people…you can’t have forgotten this already?

Never ever make a paste… it won’t help!

First things first, if they are disposable or a really old pair that are past their prime then you don’t need to be too delicate.

I reached for my sweet almond oil (cuticle oil) but really any old oil will do. Basically you want to emulsify the gummy adhesive and gently massage it off the skin, no wiping or pulling or peeling allowed. That sort of thing only leads to ouchie land!

{and embarassing questions when you forget to lock the bathroom door, squeal in pain, bang your head against a shower door and yell at the person trying to rescue you when they confusedly ask what the heck you’re doing bare chested and thrashing around in the can… not that I have experienced that or anything… just saying}

Vintage Burlesque Performer

Vintage Burlesque Performer

But what if the pasties are new, made of silk or a family heirloom?

{What? Some families might have vintage pasties passed down through the generations… don’t judge people… you say silverware setting for 12 is a good inheritance, others may be coveting Nana’s first pair of tassled pasties… different strokes and all that}

Anyhoo, in this case, it may be a good idea to grab your handy dandy hair dryer and warm up the area a wee bit to loosen the adhesive and make it more malleable (plus work up a bit of a sweat). From here, you can gently begin easing up the edges and using a Q-tip (earbud) to sparingly apply a bit of oil to the underlying glue.

If none of these ideas work, consider wearing bulky sweaters and waiting for the top few epithelial layers to naturally slough off, thus removing the pasties naturally. Hey, time is your friend after all!

Cheers,

Maggie

Go Go Amy Burlesque Performer

Go Go Amy Burlesque Performer

Advertisements