What do you mean cheerleaders used to wear clothes... that's just crazy talk!

What do you mean cheerleaders used to wear clothes... that's just crazy talk!

Hello Swimwear and Lingerie Fans!

How was your Halloween night? Did you gorge yourself silly on sugar and chocolates?

I know I did and I’m totally feeling it too. When did I get so damn old that a night of completely uninhibited bingeing on candy leaves me feeling worse than a hangover?

This sucks!

Psychologically, I WANT to eat candy but physically, I feel so awful that if I even make an instinctual move towards the candy bag, my right fist will reach up and womp the heck out of my greedy ass brain. No one tells you this happens when you become an adult… every one acts like it’s all freedom and beer. LIARS!

Is it still a hangover if the culprit is candy?

Is it still a hangover if the culprit is candy?

Wow, all that orange dye #4 has actually caused me to completely lose track of the purpose of this blog. LINGERIE. Sorry about that folks. {I kinda feel like this should be the start of an after school special on the dangers of candy addiction…it all started innocently enough, but then…snif snif… I just couldn’t put the pixie stix down…I HAD TO HAVE THEM}

Okay back on track.

Today is Totally Retro Tuesday and I am quite excited to talk about cheerleaders, large jungle cats and lingerie!

Feast your eyes on this beauty of a vintage lingerie ad!

Wow, right? Where to start?

{…maybe start with a little nib action, roll on over to the creamy caramel squares and accent that with a quick hit of tootsie roll goodness…SHUT UP stupid medulla oblongata… I’m NOT eating any more candy right now…sheesh, I just got back on track. I tell ya, this could be a very hard night for me…}

Bite me prefontal cortex... you can't lure me back to the candy bag. When the tummy says NO, it means HELL NO!

Bite me prefontal cortex... you can't lure me back to the candy bag. When the tummy says NO, it means HELL NO!

So anyway, shall we just get the whole synonyms for cats (even large jungle cats) out of the way first? If it was a friend of Shrek and Donkey we would call it _uss in Boots, but in this case it is merely masquerading as a representation of a high school sporting mascot, or is it? {insert evil sounding voice here… much like the one currently whispering in a relentless monotone that the mini Oh Henry bars won’t be missed and that two aren’t anywhere near as bad three. So just take two and you’re fine….}

Puss in Boots... so cute!

Puss in Boots... so cute!

Yes, I get that the brand is also called Tiger and it is a cute little tie in, genius advertising really, but why is a women’s lingerie brand called Tiger? Not to mention that tag line they have going on there, “Tiger A-Go-Go, holds that girl with a winning line.”

Why must women always be restrained?/contained and held back?

Why must women always be restrained?/contained and held back?

Right, so I can almost feel the whole football theme there, with “hold the winning line”, but, wait, “hold that girl”? Ick, not liking the restraints and paternalistic controls that dredges up. Considering the girls are there cheering, in their undies and nothing else, why do they need to be controlled? Weird.

Huh, so I guess lots of fashion lines see controlling women as a viable advertising shtick...noted.

Huh, so I guess lots of fashion lines see controlling women as a viable advertising shtick...noted.

Come to think of it, why are these girls out cheering in only their undies? That’s pretty racy for the era this ad was produced, at least Maidenform had the prudence to intimate that the women parading around with out clothes were just dreaming like the wanton little… oh wait, that may not be any better either.

I dreamed... I was a naughty liberated type of woman who was restrained by false modesty and paternalistically controlled rules of gendered behaviour.

I dreamed... I was a naughty liberated type of woman who was restrained by false modesty and paternalistically controlled rules of gendered behaviour.

You know what? With this much sugar buzzing around in my head… I don’t think I want to even unpack this ad. There’s just too much questionable wording and imagery going on. Who the heck were they even trying to target with this ad? WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

{eep. sorry that was the skittles talking. I don’t think I’m fit to continue… I’m just going to go lie down and wait for the room to stop spinning. Talk amongst yourselves… your topic is: Tiger women’s lingerie, gosh why do you think they aren’t around today?}

Cheers,

Maggie

Zombie Cheerleaders

Zombie Cheerleaders

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