Dita Von Teese

Dita Von Teese

Happy Thursday my dear Swimwear and Lingerie fanatics.

For today’s Fitting Tip Thursday, I thought I would revisit our previous merkin talk in the Julyna post and give you my “Top Three Tips” about the putting on, wearing and taking off of your lovely little merkin.

{side note: Doesn’t a merkin sound like the so-ugly-it’s-cute cousin of a warthog? Seriously… awwww, look at the ittle, wittle merkin…}

He thinks he's cute shhh don't tell him the truth

He thinks he's cute shhh don't tell him the truth

Right, so first things first. We all know that having double-sided tape stuck to hair (anywhere on your body, not JUST there-ish) is going to cause some pulling and discomfort. So, the first rule is obviously:

#1. Don’t try to attach your merkin to your pubic hair… it won’t hold uniformly, it’ll irritate the heck out of you and definitely not inspire thoughts of sensuality.Also, unlike a bandaid, the old grit your teeth and pull super-fast doesn’t work and could even end-up ripping and tearing the delicate skin and tissues in the area and wrecking your merkin.

Irritated Woman, You Know Why

Irritated Woman, You Know Why

Now may be the time to try out some closely cropped pubic styles like the Charlie Chaplin or perhaps the Highway to Heaven (AKA The Landing Strip)

Charlie Chaplin

Charlie Chaplin

Trying to rock a merkin and a full-on, retro,’70′s-style bush is right out!

Which brings me to our next rule. If you’re going to get waxed, sugared, lasered, shaved, plucked, trimmed or anything having to do with styling your nether-below frizz, you may want to consider scheduling your costumery for later on in the week.

Sherry Britton

Sherry Britton skillful wardrobe choice to hide merkin-less state

Rule #2: Tender skin that has recently been depiliated will not take kindly to double-sided tape. You’re just asking for a serious rash or inflamation and nothing kills the mood faster than fire crotch… just ask Lindsey Lohan.

Lindsey Lohan

Lindsey Lohan

When you’re wearing your lovely merkin, you may want to frolic and cavort about in only your merkin (and potentially the matching pasties if you bought the full ensemble) or you may want to wear it underneath your regular clothes for that secretive and beguiling type of fun that can only come from surprise lingerie.

Sherry_Britton

Sherry_Britton

Which is all well and good, until you suddenly realize that you didn’t attach the merkin properly and it has now slipped and re-adhered itself to a different, potentially less fun, spot. Voila Rule # 3!

Rule #3. When attaching your merkin to your body, it may be best to wear loose fitting clothing over top that will not rub or force it to bend or move around. It’s attached to an area with a whole lot of nerve endings that are going to let you know pretty darn quickly if it isn’t staying in place. Test it first and be sure to press firmly to ensure a good seal of the tape, both to your body and the merkin.

…and there you have it my darlings. The top three things to consider when attempting to wear a merkin. Are you ready to try? Have you decided how you’re going to style yourself for Julyna? I think I’m going to be rocking my initial… should be fun trying to get it legible and then maintain it for the month… at the moment I’m still trying to find a “stylist”, AKA a waxer, with creativity and a good sense of humour. Shame they won’t do threading for the lady bits… so much gentler and more precise.

Cheers,

Maggie

Margie Hart

Margie Hart

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