Annnnnnd, we’re back!
Hello lovely readers. I’m so glad you have tuned into Swimwear and Lingerie today, we get to crack open the next installment of our riveting |baskit| underwear review. Our last reviewer was the wonderful Rich. He had nothing but positive things to say about his experiences while wearing underwear priced above $3. Will our next prestigious reviewer be as impressed? Lets find out. Step up to the ‘mic’ Paul and tell us about your nether-belows and the new undies.
Hi there, my name is Paul and it has been 16 hours since my last online underwear shopping venture. Pfft. Pfft. (looks around) Is this thing on?
Seriously folks, I am a 29 year old man with a true appreciation for the finer things in life. Sadly, I chose to be a professional dancer, so I can’t really afford them, but thanks to the internet and occasional free shipping, I can buy them, one meager paycheque at a time. I think Maggie chose her reviewers well (pats self on back), as I’m uniquely qualified to be a reviewer of underwear (I have amassed so much of it), of course, I would think that wouldn’t I? I am a bit biased. I wasn’t always like this though (obsessed with designer underwear, not overly modest), I used to be just like the last guy, Rich, at one time. I figured mens underwear was just what your mom bought you and as long as it was clean, if and or when you were hit by an ambulance than it was good.
Fast forward 20 years to a career that necessitates my wearing lycra frequently and you will understand my overwhelming interest in finding the perfect pair of underwear (usually briefs) that won’t bunch up and will actually breathe and not make my package look like it’s trying to kiss my ankles. When I am dancing in a hip hop music video or concert, I’m usually kicking the hip hop style and supposed to partially showcase my underwear. Well, the top half any way, I’m not that kind of professional dancer.
I looked the boxer underwear over and tried to see how it was different than some of the other types I owned. They looked smaller then my usual ones and seemed designed to fit a bit more snugly to the body. The color was doable and not too loud or graphic. The seams were all nice flat seams so they shouldn’t leave those lines and indentations and the pouch appeared to be extra stretchy and sewn to keep everything front and center. They didn’t look too much different than my usual Ginch Gonchs. I decided to throw the boxer briefs in my suitcase for an out of town job I had to work. I figured, new city, new undies, why not?
First things first, the |baskit| Body Art design is pretty wicked. I had forgotten I was wearing these, until the other guys noticed them in the dressing room. They all thought I had binged and bought myself some outrageously priced Ed Hardy boxers. I kinda felt like an ambassador telling every one all about how I came by them and why I was wearing them. A lot of the time, mens underwear features some pretty stupid and over the top designs or hokey old stereotypical jokes about men and their junk. These are actually fairly cool. The print is kind of oriental and bears further scrutiny. Sadly no one really got up close and personal to scrutinize them during my review. Meh, probably couldn’t report on it, if they did any way. I’m a Gentleman after all.
My jeans were sufficiently baggy to allow the waistband and the top portion to poke out during our rehearsals. The choreographer pulled me aside at break time to ask me about them. Said he had noticed the design right away and wondered where I got them. So, I launched into my whole “I am reviewing them for a friend’s website spiel” and noticed that I now had a whole bunch of the dancers, male and female and some of the stage crew crowding around to find out what was going on. Geez, I always thought I was a decent dancer, but my undies actually managed to upstage me that day. Harsh.
After work, we all went back to the hotel and hung out and planned the rest of the evening. It was a weeknight, so partying was out, especially since we had an 8am call for a full dress rehearsal. We decided to go for a quick bite and then just lounge around playing a friendly game of cards. I don’t know about all of you, but one of the things I hate most when I travel for work, is that displaced feeling. When you always have that nagging feeling that something just isn’t right. I usually have that and it takes awhile for me to relax with new places and things. It’s weird, but I completely forgot I was wearing new underwear. Right out of the package, they went on and just molded to my body. It was one less thing to worry about. The very best praise I can give the underwear, is that I kept forgetting I was wearing them, but nobody else did. The running joke of the night was that my undies were more famous than I was. Thanks guys, nice touch.
We settled in to my buddy’s room to play some cards and have a few drinks. I was doing okay, hadn’t lost much money yet, of course I had spent more than I should have the other night online (man, I wish I had known about |baskit| then… could have saved myself a lot of money and got better styling and comfort) so, I was playing it safe.
My buddy Dave decided that we were behaving like old men and that we needed to have more fun if we were going to be in New York for a few nights. They decided on dare poker. Personally, I was voting for a good movie on the tube (Hey! I’m 29, unlike these young punks… I’m feeling my age a bit). Dare poker is regular poker, but with a dare attached to the money. A kind of extra gift and extra humiliation for the final players in the hand. Basically, in the last round of betting, you have to bet, call or fold and add to that your dare. The guy with the winning hand gets to decide on the dare and the losers who were in the hand to the bitter end have to make good or pay up a grievance. With a group of dancers you have to know that they are pretty creative when it comes to some of the dares.
Now, a reasonable man would have thrown his hand in and played the “old guy” card and gone to bed. Apparently I was not feeling like a reasonable man. I blame the undies. They gave me a false sense of security and power. The pouch on the front keeps all your goods in place and kind of cradles them. You don’t get that cramped kind of squishy feel that some of the designer brands tend have. The waistband sits low and is really wide and cozy and the legs of the boxers are comfy and don’t cut off the circulation. So, clearly, I am not responsible for what happened.
I had a hand that was one of those once in a lifetime Poker events. Some of the guys had already folded and it was down to myself and four others. I was feeling pretty confident and more than a little cocky. The final round came up and we all made our dares and threw in our cash. There were some really evil scenarios being presented, but I wasn’t overly worried, I had the cards to make the other guys weep or at the very least have to go down to the lobby and perform Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusal”, a capella in the main foyer of our hotel. Snerk, I really do enjoy a good game of dare poker, provided I’m not the butt of the joke.
I think you can see where this is going, right?
So, long story short, my cards failed me, I had to go swim in the fountain, in the lobby of the hotel, in my fancy new boxers until a stranger talked to me. Luckily, I wasn’t wearing anything embarassing (head nod to Leroy who regrettably had chosen to wear jock style underwear) and the lovely Cynthia was kind enough to ask me what the heck I was doing?
So there you have it folks, these boxers are pretty enough and tasteful enough to help complete strangers feel comfortable enough to approach semi nekkid men in hotel fountains and buy them a drink at the bar before the hotel staff intervenes with a fictitious dress code but real bylaw infringement.
Would I review |baskit| Underwear again? Absolutely! I got a date and won the next two hands of poker and got to watch a group of young men completely destroy the lyrics and harmony of “It’s Not Unusual”. All in all, a good day. Frankly, in these underwear, anything can happen.
Giggle, snerk, did you have to explain who Tom Jones was? Thanks so much for the review and way to take one for the team Paul. You are a truly committed reviewer.
Alright, swimwear and lingerie readers, don’t forget to tune in next time to hear what our Stay at Home Dad, Scott, had to say about his experiences wearing the |baskit|Ribbed Jock Brief. He learned the hard way that preschoolers and hockey players say the darndest things.